Tony and the McGee
by headslapdiva
Summary: Gee McGee, what are we going to do tonight?" "The same thing we do every night, Tony. Try to take over the world!"


**Disclaimer:** Don Bellisario and CBS own the rights to NCIS and the characters contained within this story. No copyright infringement is intended. Pinky and the Brain is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Stephen Spielberg.

It was a quiet night as always at NCIS. The only glow in the bullpen were from Tony and McGee's desk lamps and computer monitors. They weren't working on a case, however. Tony sat at his desk, playing online Tetris. "This is really hard," he grumbled. Meanwhile, McGee was checking out complex formulas and diagrams.

"Yes, I think this just might work!" McGee said happily. "Tony, come!" He stood and walked to the elevators.

Tony paused his game and followed. "Why, McGee? What are we gonna to tonight?"

"The same thing we do every night, Tony. Try to take over the world!"

Down in their secret lair, which was really Autopsy, McGee lined out their current plan for global domination. "It's really quite simple, Tony," he began. Tony wasn't listening, having too much fun spinning around on Ducky's computer chair to listen. McGee let one of Ducky's scalpels fall from its careful placement on a tray next to the autopsy table with the hopes of stopping Tony's spinning. It did, only it worked _too_ well. Tony went flying at the chair's sudden stop and skidded on his rear across the floor. "Are you listening now, Tony?"

"Yeah, McGee." He stood rather stiffly and limped over to their "war table."

"Our plan tonight is really quite simple," McGee continued. "We find a way to overthrow Director Shepard, replace her, and force all the other agencies in the world to do our bidding. It's foolproof!" McGee scurried over to one of the body drawers and removed a women's dress suit, a bright red wig, makeup, and other frightening things.

"So, one of us is going to be Director Shepard?" Tony asked, examining a Chinese Laundry pump with trepidation.

"Of course, Tony." McGee plopped the wig on Tony's head with a grin. "You'll make a very pretty woman, Antonia." Tony grumbled, yanking off the wig as the doors to Autopsy swooshed open.

"Sorry I'm late," Abby said, kissing McGee. "You said you needed my help?"

"I need you to make Tony look like Director Shepard," McGee said with a grin.

Abby pouted. "What have I told you about this 'ruling the world' phase, McGee?"

"That every failure should show me I'm not ready to be a world leader?" McGee asked dully, fascinated by a smudge on his shoe.

"Correct," she turned to look at Tony, who was glaring at the clothing and makeup, as if it could bite him. "Although, I've always wondered what Tony would look like as a redhead."

* * *

The next evening, Tony sat in Director Shepard's office, squirming uncomfortably in his blouse and skirt. So far, things had been going fairly well. A few meetings with other Agents, verbal sparring with the FBI and CIA over jurisdiction on several of Gibbs' cases, fairly easy things. Ziva had been dispatched to keep the real Jenny Shepard at home all day, which was a fairly easy task when she was armed with spa coupons. As he was getting ready to pack up and head back to the secret lair, Gibbs suddenly burst in.

"Jen," he said, giving her his most charming grin.

_'Oh CRAP!,'_ Tony thought, covering smoothly with a, "Something I can do for you, Special Agent Gibbs?"

Meanwhile, down in forensics, McGee and Abby were sitting in a pile of cushions and blankets, watching through a hidden camera in a brooch Tony was wearing. "This is gonna be fun!" Abby said, passing McGee the popcorn.

"I didn't know Gibbs and the Director still had a thing going on," he said, turning pale.

"Wow, do you live under a rock, McGee?" she asked around a mouthful of popcorn. "Ever since Director Shepard came in, she and Gibbs have continued their relationship!"

"Oh crap," McGee moaned. "Tony's gonna kill me!"

"Well then, let's do something I can remember you by," Abby suggested with a naughty grin, pinning him down in the makeshift nest.

"There's something you can do for me, Jen," Gibbs said, approaching her slowly. Suddenly, Tony found himself locked in a passionate kiss with Gibbs. Trying not to gag, Tony forced himself to return it, for the sake of taking over the world. Gibbs noticed "Jen's" lack of interest, and that her hair looked very lopsided. He yanked off the wig and stared in shock. "DiNozzo?"

"Uh, hi Boss," Tony grinned sheepishly. "Listen, this wasn't my idea. It was McGee's!"

Gibbs considered the information carefully before thinking up an appropriate punishment. "Come with me, DiNozzo," he said, dragging Tony all the way down to Forensics by his ear. "McGee!" Gibbs bellowed. He stumbled out of the nest, trying to button up his shirt. Before the younger Agent had a chance to react, Gibbs grabbed him by his ear and dragged both men down to Autopsy, their protests falling on deaf ears.

* * *

"What have I told you about getting involved with McGee's ideas of global domination?" Gibbs asked Abby seriously.

"Don't get involved because it only leads to bad things and heartache in the end?" she asked, looking up hopefully. "Just don't stuff me in one of those drawers. I've been in them before. Not the best night of sleep I ever got." Gibbs gave her an odd look and kissed her cheek before escorting her out of the building for the night.

Down in Autopsy, one of the drawers rattled. "I can't believe he stuffed us in body drawers!" McGee shouted.

"I can't believe I kissed him!" Tony replied, squirming in an attempt to get comfortable. "In the meantime, what are we going to do tomorrow night?"

"The same thing we do every night, Tony," McGee replied. "Try to take over the world!"


End file.
